Is domestic violence only in veterans' families?

Who is committing violence? What is the real state of affairs

In Ukraine, many people have experienced traumatic events, so the level of violence in society may increase. However, is domestic violence (in any form - physical, sexual, psychological or economic) really prevalent mainly in families whose members have experience of combat or returned from the front?

In my opinion, today in society they unwittingly marginalize a certain group, they “highlight” it too much, generalize and transfer several episodes to the entire group. We are, of course, talking about veterans.

Recently, Interior Minister Igor Klimenko said in an interview that 60% of cases of violence are committed by veterans and military personnel. These data, taken out of context, instantly acquired different interpretations in the media, and this figure was presented in such a way as to create the impression that every second veteran commits violence

Here are just a few examples of “loud” headlines:

“After the war, some people learned to kill in cold blood.”

“Every military member returns from the front lines with post-traumatic stress disorder.”

“What does a person with PTSD who has some mental changes after the war do? He could be an alcoholic, or a drug addict, or go into a criminal environment, or a combination of all these.”

Through a few generalizations and a “precise” headline, reinforced by a gruesome photograph of a child’s or woman’s hand being grabbed by a man’s hand, such texts leave behind the impression that domestic violence only exists in the families of veterans. Few people will read the article in full and critically analyze the information, after all, take into account the fact that the country now has a significant number of the adult population - these are military personnel or veterans. The army is a cross-section of society.

It’s about the same story with a diagnosis or signs of PTSD. The presence or absence of PTSD does not exclusively affect veterans. Civilians also find themselves in situations that pose a threat to their lives - they come under rocket fire, live in front-line areas, and the like. Anyone can emerge from such situations with signs of PTSD. Or without them. Belonging to a particular profession does not affect this in any way.

In my opinion, there is not a single convincing fact that could indicate a direct connection between a person’s choice of a particular profession (including military service) and a tendency to violence.

Separately, I would like to note that when considering the problem, one should rely on statistical data and research on domestic violence among various social groups. I note that statistics are based on appeals from victims of violence, and cannot take into account those who did not appeal. And there are most likely many more of them. Consequently, we do not know exactly the real state of affairs. Do we know? If we know, then provide data and reflections.

Let us remember that the “culture” of violence, unfortunately, was tolerated by our society long before the great war. Anecdotes, witticisms on social networks or “funny pictures” about rape, when the victim is presented as tongue-tied, who is asking for problems, so people stop sympathizing with her, transferring responsibility for the aggressor’s crime onto her - we’ve all had this before.

For example, in 2019, the Ukrainian segment of social networks had fun with the news that it was proposed to make amendments to the Criminal Code on mandatory consent to sex. Jokes that sex will be allowed only with the consent of the district police officer actually revealed a huge problem: Ukrainians lived for decades and did not think that sex without consent in marriage is rape, which is also violence. How many more such questions remain behind the scenes?

Returning to the interview with the head of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, in which he stated that 60% of cases of violence are now committed by veterans and military personnel, I would like to note that domestic violence does not exist separately in the families of veterans. I believe that if we talk about domestic violence, then the problem should be considered in the general Ukrainian context as one that does not have any professional characteristics.

The veteran community has said many times: we are civilians like you, there is no need to separate us. But society remains deaf. Labeling advocates and advocates as having PTSD is stigmatizing because PTSD is a medical diagnosis that can only be determined by a psychiatrist. As for the group of people with military experience, yes, they can react more sharply to everyday stressful situations, but this does not mean that they need to be singled out as a group, because, in essence, this is discrimination.

Now at the public level they should support veterans and veterans so that they seek qualified help if they feel an acute reaction to stress (yes, this is the so-called “domestic PTSD” that they try to give to every defender).

Domestic violence is not just about beatings or bodily harm. This is an ugly evil, the eradication of which is an indicator of the formation of a new, safe society. Based on this, one should focus not on finding the guilty, but on finding a solution to the problem. After all, when publications put together: veteran – psychological problems – violence, the likelihood that a person will seek help decreases, because he will automatically feel like a criminal. Therefore, everyone must move towards eradication together, providing support, understanding and not bullying people.

What advice can you give to people who have become victims of domestic violence?
You should not consult with your loved ones, so as not to get stuck among personal stories and excuses, it is better to consult a psychologist. For example, when a family or close circle tries in every possible way to “preserve the family” and demands that problems not be made public. This is dangerous advice, because at one point it may happen that it will be too late to provide help.

You should immediately stop communicating with the aggressor, because often the victim of violence and the offender are in a codependent relationship. Such relationships go in circles and subsequently everything repeats itself.

In the event of a threat, you must act quickly and decisively. The injured family member should contact the police and a medical facility to record the beatings if they occurred.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 0800500335 (landline) or 116123 (mobile).

Legal advice can be obtained from the contact center of the free legal aid system: 0800213103.

Also, specialists of the Ukrainian Veterans Fund Hotline provide support daily and around the clock: 0800332029